In the video below, Miles Murray of Seattle tells the story of what his dad did when he found out Miles’ mom was pregnant. “He has always been there, and I know he’s always loved me,” Miles says.
Above is a 2-minute excerpt from our conversation with Miles Murray and Pilar Corder. Below is an edited transcript of the video.
An unexpected pregnancy
Miles Murray: My mom was really excited when she found out she was pregnant with me. And she had to tell my dad, obviously. When she told him, my dad instantly started crying. He found out that my mom was pregnant – and he started crying…out of fear! He was scared. You see, my mom and dad weren’t married. They weren’t even in love. They were co-workers, and one thing led to another, and then I showed up.
After hearing the news, my dad grabbed the phone, locked himself in the bathroom, and he called his mom (my grandma). Basically she said to him, “You need to suck it up. You need to man up. You need to take care of this kid.”
After that, he opened the door, hung the phone up, sat on the bed next to my mom, and just said, “Alright, let’s do this.” At that point, they’d both made the decision to raise me, and I’m just grateful that they did that.
Read related WIBM piece about Miles’s decision to join the Army National Guard and how it demonstrates the importance of military service as a route to success for young men.
‘From that moment on, he was my father’
Miles Murray: I can imagine being 24 years old, having all these dreams, all these things that you want to accomplish, and all of the sudden you get someone pregnant. So many Black fathers walk away; so many fathers in general walk away. The fact that he didn’t – when he didn’t even love my mom – it’s still mind-blowing to me.
He just made the decision. He literally decided, “Alright, let’s do this,” and from that moment on he was my father. He never turned back from that decision. He never regretted that decision, at least that I know. There might have been some times I made him upset, but that’s what all kids do to their father. But he was always there. He always kept a roof over my head. He always made sure my stomach was fed. Financially, we went through rough patches when I was growing up. I don’t complain about it. Back then it wasn’t a big deal, because when you’re a kid you don’t really know anything different. But he was always there. And I know he’s always loved me.
One phone call with his mom, and that was all it took. He manned up when he needed to man up.
Read related WIBM piece: ‘Two lives to save’ – A Seattle man’s story of refusing to give up on his family
