After being apart from his children for six years, James Tidwell is joyful to finally be seeing them again. “I just want to be in their lives,” James says in a video by Spokane Fatherhood Initiative, whose practical assistance and 24/7 Dads classes enabled James to reconnect with his son and three daughters. “Now I’m just really excited to put forth everything I’ve learned and to raise these kids, and to give them chances I didn’t have, and to be the father that I didn’t have,” James says.
‘I just want to be a dad’
Below is a lightly-edited transcript of the video.
My name is James Tidwell. I’m a graduate of the 24/7 Dads class offered by Spokane Fatherhood Initiative. My three siblings and I were raised by a single mom in a fatherless home. My mom tried real hard. We had to move around a lot and it was a struggle. Things would have been better with a father.
I have four kids — three girls and one boy. They’re ages 8 through 13. I’ve been separated from their mom for about 10 years but – until recently – I hadn’t see the kids for about 6 years. I was raised by the TV screen, so I didn’t really know how to be a father. I had a really hard time with it. I got separated from my children for a while and I really went downhill into a deep dark spot. I got addicted to the medication that my doctor was giving me and it just got worse from there. I went through that for about two and a half years. Feeling sorry for myself and having a pity party, missing my kids.
One day I realized I wasn’t getting any closer to seeing my kids doing what I was doing. I had to make a change. That’s when I prayed, and I started looking for help. Spokane Fatherhood Initiative showed up at Family of Faith Church with the 24/7 Dads class. I decided to look into it because I really wanted to make a real effort at getting my kids back in my life.
While the 24/7 Dads classes focus on fathering skills, there is an emphasis on becoming a better man through self-awareness and self-care which leads to better parenting skills, communication skills, and relationship skills.
Spokane Fatherhood Initiative
Out of all the parenting classes that I took, 24/7 Dads was definitely the most effective. It’s more personalized. They know where you’re coming from, and they really care. If it wasn’t for 24/7 Dads and Spokane Fatherhood Initiative, I would be in a much tougher situation than I am now. [SpoFI President] Ron [Hauenstein] even sat down and helped me fill out the paperwork. He helped me write my declaration. He came to court with me. He even talked to the court clerks with me. He helped me every step of the way, and it really made a difference. Some of those days I felt so alone, so it was awesome to have somebody with me who actually cared.
See related: State of Washington to hire Innovation Coordinator who will advance fatherhood and strengthen fathers’ voices
‘I just want to be in their lives’
I just saw my kids for the first time in six years on October 16th. Right now I have one-hour supervised visits every two weeks, and I’m looking forward to have those visits be longer and more frequent. My goal for now is to have them every other weekend and to be able to go to sporting events, talent shows, PTA meetings, things like that. I just want to be in their lives.
To my daughter, never forget that I love you. If I could give you one thing in life, it would be the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how special you are to me. Love, Dad.
James Tidwell, reading to his daughter an inscription he wrote to her
Now I’m just really excited to put forth everything I’ve learned and to raise these kids, and to give them chances I didn’t have, and to be the father that I didn’t have. I don’t want kids to go without either one of their parents.
I just want to be a dad.