Roxanne Cull is a psychotherapist in Lakewood, Washington. With her permission, we’re publishing a letter she submitted in support of House Bill 1270 to Representative Bill Ramos, who chairs the House State Government and Tribal Relations Committee. Advocates for establishing a Washington State Commission on Boys and Men (HB 1270) are asking Rep. Ramos to grant a hearing to the bill during the 2024 legislative session, which begins in January.
Dear Representative Ramos,
I live in a different district of our beautiful state, but I understand that you may be hesitant to support House Bill 1270 establishing a Commission on Men and Boys.
I will try to keep this brief.
As a life long believer in equality of the sexes, and a citizen committed to social justice (and as a mom of four grown kids: one wonderful daughter and three amazing sons), I am writing to implore you to please support the creation of this commission.
It has been decades since my days as an equal rights activist at Berkeley, where we women rightfully demanded equality in employment, etc.
That has all been a good thing.
This Commission will do nothing to diminish that, or I would not be so supportive.
Today, I write to you mainly from the perspective of a seasoned psychotherapist who sees the issues that men of all ages are having that society is not addressing. Society (and the Government) cannot help what they cannot see or hear. I believe we have a silent epidemic of confusion and suffering on the part of a greater segment of the male population than most realize. I expect that I would not have gained this insight if I had chosen a different profession.
I am sure you have been shown the statistics already about the higher rates of suicide etc. among males, so I will not repeat those. However, I have and do see the manifestation of those statistics in my work with individuals, couples, and families.
Generally speaking, it takes males so much longer to seek help, and even longer to talk about their true issues. Years ago in graduate school, I was taught that eating disorders are a female disease, for example. I can tell you that this is not the case at all. Men just hide it better because they do not know how to ask for help, or are too ashamed.
I had a 60 year old male client that everyone, myself included, assumed had used meth because his teeth were so bad. Even though he’d never used drugs, he preferred people think he was a meth user because that was more “acceptable” than admitting that the horrid abuse he suffered in childhood led him to become a severe 30-year bulimic, before I finally got him help. I was the first counselor he had ever seen.
I’ve had several other cases just as sad involving boys and men who did not know they “deserved support too”. We need to learn how to remedy these sad statistics.
You are busy so I will not go on, but please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I do hope you will support HB 1270.
Roxanne Cull
Lakewood, WA
Licensed Psychotherapist~Certified Mediator~Family Specialist-CLPPC
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” ~Albert Einstein
See related: ‘Men of Compassion’ Support Group Is Helping Men in Spokane Heal From Abuse | Interview with Ed Ashley