Anti-male prejudice is thriving among the leadership of some nonprofits serving Washington’s youth
An ideology hostile to boys has become prevalent within some esteemed nonprofit organizations serving teens in Washington. Following the ‘oppressor vs. oppressed’ paradigm, it is a sexist ideology that typecasts boys as predators worthy of ostracism at the slightest hint of impropriety, and girls as fragile people who deserve protection at any cost. Like all forms of bigotry, it must be exposed and rooted out. Its zealots – and complicit bystanders – are harming both boys and girls.
The piece below is Jeff Huntington’s recounting of a series of events that occurred in the North Cascade Mountains in June 2021. The outcome was an 18-year-old boy getting expelled from a prestigious outdoor leadership skills course on the grounds of sexual misconduct. Jeff contends that labeling what occurred ‘sexual misconduct’ was a gross injustice, and that the administrators of the National Outdoor Leadership School who expelled Tyler were motivated by anti-male prejudice.
The story below is a guest contribution from Jeff Huntington. He is a former instructor for the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS), which runs courses around the world including many in Washington state. The NOLS Pacific Northwest branch is located near Mount Vernon, Washington.
Synopsis
During a month-long wilderness skills course run by the prestigious National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS), an 18-year-old girl chooses to undress briefly while outside of her tent. A different girl notices a boy who’s also outside his tent looking in the direction of the undressing girl. She tells him to look away, and he does.
The trip’s lead instructor follows protocol and thoroughly investigates the incident. He concludes that what happened was unfortunate and awkward, but the boy had done nothing seriously wrong – if indeed he’d done anything wrong.
Staff from the NOLS Pacific Northwest branch get involved, and the matter balloons. The administrators show little interest in the facts of what occurred and instead focus on the feelings of the girls involved. They decide to expel the boy from the course for sexual misconduct, despite the lead instructor advocating for his innocence.
Note: Names used in the story below are not the real names of the people who were involved.
Intro
I am traversing the North Cascades as the lead instructor responsible for a group of ten 18-year-olds. This is my 7th year leading summer trips for the National Outdoor Leadership School. NOLS is a nonprofit headquartered in Wyoming that has branches around the United States. The Pacific Northwest branch is situated near Mount Vernon in Skagit County.
NOLS is the Harvard University of outdoor leadership schools. Jimmy Chin, who filmed Alex Honnold’s ascent of El Capitan for the film Free Solo, is a current trustee and former NOLS instructor.
Getting hired by NOLS again and again to lead their courses is an accomplishment that I’m proud of. Incidentally, I also happen to be one of very few openly gay male instructors NOLS has ever had. I’ve earned respect from my peers in the community of instructors, for example when I received merit pay for an occasion of tough decision-making under pressure.
In this present heartbreaking situation, however, my experience and credibility seem to count for little. NOLS administrators have just expelled a student from the course I’m leading. This was a blatant injustice motivated by a form of gender bias that I have seen becoming common within the culture of NOLS administrative leadership.
This will be the last trip I ever lead for the National Outdoor Leadership School. I have seen enough.
Our article on Team Up Washington describes another nonprofit where anti-male prejudice is normalized.
1.
It is Day 8 of this month-long course. We’re not far from the Ross Dam trailhead along the North Cascades Highway (SR 20). My supervisor, who has recently joined the trip from the Pacific Northwest branch, is explaining to the group why a boy named Tyler has been sent home early, and why a girl named Melissa left early too. She says:
Yesterday we expelled Tyler on the grounds of sexual misconduct. He made a stupid mistake when he approached a female student who was topless, and he continued to stare at her when asked for some privacy. The female student’s sense of emotional safety was compromised to the point that she was unable to continue and felt her only option was to leave.
If that recounting of the facts were accurate, I would understand Tyler’s expulsion. However, that is not what happened according to anyone who was actually involved in the incident.
Let’s go back to the beginning.
2.
Teens who sign up for NOLS courses hail from cities and suburbs across the United States. The student groups are often very diverse. Many of these kids have never been camping or even set foot in a true wilderness area, let alone a 28,000-square-mile ecosystem like the North Cascades.
Every participant knows what they’ve signed up for: a month-long experience of backpacking through the mountains with a co-ed group of strangers. On this particular trip there happen to be five male and five female students.
By Day 3 of the trip, it’s evident that – although they are trying – two of the girls, Melissa and Jackie, are less enthusiastic to be here than the other participants. Jackie in particular has struggled a lot. On Day 1 she rolled her ankle on an uneven section of trail. On Days 2 and 3 she awoke with a puffy face and concerns of an infection or pink eye. She complains about being cold and feeling homesick, and she seems to lack interest in group activities.
My co-instructor Billy and I do our best to support Jackie’s physical and emotional needs while reassuring her that it is common to struggle during the first few days of a course. Generally, every student struggles with some aspect of this new way of life. How could they not, given the level of comfort they are accustomed to back home?
3.
The classes and activities we facilitate during this course are no joke. For example, we teach map reading and then lead an off-trail navigation activity that tests students’ comprehension. We discuss leadership concepts. We share the history of our surroundings and of the people who came here before us.
We also spend time simply enjoying ourselves. Favorite treats are ramen, cheesy quesadillas, and chocolate. In the evenings we typically congregate to play games while drinking tea or hot apple cider.
During one group meeting early on, several of the teens share deep and personal stories regarding where they’ve come from and what difficulties they’re dealing with in their normal lives. I have rarely seen such vulnerability this early in a trip. I’m filled with hope by this indicator of emotional safety and honesty as our team begins to form.
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4.
It’s now Day 5, and Melissa has asked me a question. “What would happen,” she says, “if there was an incident of sexual harassment during the trip?” At first I assume she’s just curious. I explain the official protocols for dealing with difficult situations, and I tell her that every case is different. I begin to sense some uneasiness though, so I probe a bit by asking her if something has happened that she wants to share with me. She and Jackie convey the following information:
That morning, while preparing for the day, Melissa was getting dressed behind the tent she and Jackie shared. She was topless for a brief period. That’s when Melissa heard Jackie tell her to “hold herself together”, followed by Jackie telling Tyler to stop looking in their direction from the area where his tent was set up.
I’m immediately concerned, and I express this to both Melissa and Jackie. I tell them that I have to talk to Billy and that we will deal with the issue very soon. I ask the girls not to discuss the incident with anyone else until I have a chance to interview everyone involved. They agree. Soon after, I pull Billy aside and give him a quick briefing of the situation.
As we hike, I stay close to Tyler and keep an eye on him.
5.
I begin the process of interviewing the students one by one. I also sketch a map of the scene, noting approximate distances, sight lines, and the orientation of the two tents in relationship to each other. In addition to recording their individual narratives, I ask each female student if there had been any other concerning verbal or physical exchanges with Tyler over the past few days. I’m trying to distinguish whether what Melissa and Jackie said occurred was an isolated incident or part of a pattern.
After finishing the interviews, I meet with Billy to discuss the findings. (Billy is a significantly younger and less experienced instructor than me, and I am finding opportunities to build up his capabilities.) Fortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any discrepancy between the stories told by Jackie and Tyler. The issue is there are different interpretations of the events.
Jackie asserts that Tyler saw Melissa topless and moved quickly to gain a better vantage point. Tyler says he merely glanced in their direction, and then he only looked back a second time – to look at Jackie – after becoming aware that Jackie was staring at him. Melissa was unsure of what to believe; Jackie told her Tyler leered at her, but Melissa hadn’t seen Tyler during the incident.
6.
After considering the evidence, my gut tells me that this was a misunderstanding. I have dealt with blatant cases of sexual misconduct on previous trips, and I am hesitant to label this an intentional or serious act. Here is my reasoning:
The girls’ and boys’ tents were more than 40 feet apart, with the girls’ tent on higher ground. Prior to the incident, the students had been chatting across the divide and were aware of each other’s presence. Knowing she was on public land and in proximity to other students and potentially other land users, Melissa chose to undress outside of her tent. She positioned herself such that her tent was an obstacle at least partially blocking the line of sight from the boys’ tent. Jackie and Tyler both recounted that when Tyler looked in the direction of the girls’ tent the second time, it was to speak to Jackie, whom he had noticed was looking at him. No one denied that when Jackie asked Tyler for privacy, he looked away and did not look back again.
By this point, I have read my employer’s definition of sexual misconduct several times. I haven’t found anything from my investigation to suggest that it occurred. Here is the definition:
Sexual misconduct is any unwelcome behavior of a sexual nature that is committed without consent or by force, intimidation, coercion, or manipulation. It includes, but is not limited to, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual exploitation, and sexual intimidation.
I deliver my conclusions to Billy. I tell him that I don’t think it’s reasonable to put the onus on Tyler to avoid noticing a naked peer outside her tent. He agrees with me. However, he pushes back when I begin to suggest Melissa bears some responsibility for not acting with more discretion. He believes this argument will not go over well with our superiors and that I will likely be accused of ‘victim blaming’ if I make it. I acknowledge his point.
7.
NOLS protocol requires that we inform management whenever we are investigating the possibility of serious misconduct. Because Billy has already been the point person for communication with the branch about another matter (Jackie’s unhappiness with the course and her desire to go home), I ask him to go ahead and make our supervisors aware of the situation between Melissa and Tyler.
I ask Melissa and Tyler individually whether they would like Billy and me to facilitate a resolution. Melissa is stoic and seems to believe that it was a misunderstanding. She says she will talk to Tyler on her own. Tyler tells me that he will apologize for any discomfort he caused. I know he’s trying to be the bigger person, but I worry that his apology will make things worse.
8.
My worries are validated when I speak with Melissa later on. She tells me that Tyler’s apology seemed insincere. I want to tell her it’s because Tyler doesn’t think he did anything wrong – and that I actually agree with him. But Billy’s warnings about victim blaming and minimizing come to mind.
I feel trapped. If I say that Melissa bears some responsibility for what happened, I risk being reprimanded by my supervisors. If I validate a narrative that frames Melissa as a victim, I’m also affirming Tyler’s culpability.
I decide to simply carry out my duty; I will present the facts to my superiors. I am hopeful that they will listen to my findings, see the nuance of the situation, and work together with me to form a fair and responsible plan for moving forward.
I shift my focus back to teaching wilderness and leadership skills in our glorious mountain classroom.
9.
The next day provides beautiful sunny weather and an intermittent cooling breeze at our backs while we hike. Tyler and Melissa are both in my group of students. Although they maintain some distance from each other, the mood is light and spirits seem high. We punctuate our travel with hourly breaks and I insert short mindfulness exercises, ecology nuggets, and weather observations.
Billy’s group gets to camp first. When my group arrives, Billy tells me that our supervisors want me to call the branch to discuss the incident. I dread the prospect of spending the next hour or more on the satellite phone, attempting to get a signal and communicating through dropped calls.
After trying for 15 minutes, I finally connect with the NOLS Pacific Northwest branch director. At this point, the only information she’s received about what happened is via Melissa and Jackie telling me, me briefing Billy, and then Billy telling her. However, rather than seek information directly from me on what my fact-finding turned up, she gives me a to-do list:
- Billy and I are to hold a group meeting where we ask for and respond to anonymous written feedback about our group culture.
- We are to hold a subsequent meeting for just the female students to inquire about their emotional safety. We should specifically ask them what they need to feel more emotionally safe.
- We are to establish a Student Performance Agreement (SPA) for Tyler for contributing to a female student feeling a lack of emotional safety.
An SPA is a common tool for addressing issues of poor behavior or performance during a NOLS course. It cites specific examples and explains why they are unacceptable. It also outlines possible consequences for continued non-compliance. Repercussions can include closer monitoring by instructors, exclusion from group activities, and even being sent home early. Students are typically involved in the process of writing their SPAs.
When the branch director tells me to make an SPA for Tyler, I start to push back and come to Tyler’s defense. Suddenly the call drops. I connect again and begin to speak, but she interrupts. She asks for confirmation that I have written down the to-do list, and she tells me to call her again tomorrow. She also tells me that a program supervisor will be joining our course for a minimum of three days in order to monitor our group culture and look for signs of an emotionally unsafe environment for female students.
At this stage, the official NOLS response to the Melissa-Tyler incident is clearly not up for discussion.
10.
After dinner, Billy and I lead a group meeting. The call for anonymous feedback about our group culture reveals nothing beyond typical individual pet peeves. One person isn’t cleaning the spatula after they use it. Another is reaching into the bag of snacks instead of pouring the food into their hand.
Our subsequent meeting with the female students, however, turns up a range of issues. One girl has not brought the recommended amount of personal hygiene products, which has threatened her state of emotional safety. Multiple girls report having cried together daily due to a combination of the physical demands of the route and their perception of microaggressions from male students. Melissa reports heightened feelings of awkwardness and unease around Tyler. Jackie states that the incident has triggered past emotional trauma.
Billy and I listen to the outpouring of emotion. I ask Melissa what has changed since yesterday, when she characterized the incident as a misunderstanding. She says she originally thought she could keep going, but now she is afraid to be around Tyler.
At this point, Jackie’s influence on Melissa becomes more apparent. She begins speaking forcefully to Melissa, telling her that she is a victim and that she “needs to go home and heal”. Jackie says that she knows about this type of thing; her mom has experienced sexual harassment.
Now Melissa is crying convulsively. “I… just… never… thought… this… would… ever… happen… to me,” she says. The other girls surround her in a group hug.
After things calm a bit, we ask the girls what they need to feel emotionally safe. Melissa requests that Billy and I move our tent next to hers, as she’s afraid to undress now – whether she is inside her tent or not. She also says she’s afraid of going to the bathroom; she’s worried Tyler will be hiding in the bushes spying on her. I do my best to assure her that’s an unlikely scenario, but I agree to move my tent closer to hers.
Jackie makes a list of items for me to pass to my supervisors so they can bring them to our meeting at the trailhead. The list includes multiple boxes of feminine hygiene products, wet wipes, insulating layers, and other personal items.
11.
Our attention shifts to Tyler. Per BIlly’s request, I allow him to write Tyler’s Student Performance Agreement so he can gain experience. I stay nearby as they work on it together.
Tyler is visibly upset by the allegation that he committed some kind of sexual offense and by the punitive action being taken against him. I tell him I understand where he is coming from, and that this is basically a formality to ensure the emotional and physical safety of the female students.
I keep telling myself that things will be made right when I get the chance to present the findings of my investigation to our supervisors.
12.
The following day’s hike is short and we make it to camp early. We have a lot to do to prepare for the resupply and I welcome the normalcy of the routine. In the afternoon, Billy teaches a first aid class while I make a dutch oven cake to celebrate his birthday. Melissa won’t come out of her tent at this point, so I bring her a piece of birthday cake and ask if she wants to talk. She prefers to be left alone.
Tyler asks me if he’s still allowed to participate with the group. I say yes – of course. Then he asks if we can talk privately.
Tyler confides in me that he’s a video game addict. This NOLS course has been the first significant real-world, character-building thing he’s undertaken. (Conversations with Tyler earlier in the trip have given me the impression he doesn’t live with both of his parents, and his father may not be a substantial, frequent presence in his life. I don’t know this for certain.) Tyler says he’s been feeling himself changing for the better over these first several days of the course. Now he’s freaking out. He does not want to be sent home. He feels awkward in the group, and he worries that everyone is avoiding him.
I tell Tyler that I’m in his corner, and that I will advocate for him. He is not a sexual predator, and this is just a big misunderstanding.
Tyler reaches an emotional breaking point and begins to cry. I feel for him, and I offer him a hug.
13.
The next morning we get up early to hike to the road. During the hike, Melissa pulls me aside and says she has decided she wants to leave the course. She “feels like a shell of a person”. I tell her she doesn’t have to decide anything until we talk with the managers, but I know she’s already made up her mind.
We arrive early at the rendezvous point and I use the opportunity to catch up on paperwork. Eventually, a van pulls up with two NOLS staff from the Pacific Northwest branch. Kelsey is the assistant director, and Ashley is the program supervisor for our course. Ashley will be the one accompanying us for the next few days to evaluate our group culture and monitor our performance as instructors.
The students get to work on their re-ration duties: refilling spice kits and fuel bottles, sorting and distributing food, consolidating trash and letters to home.
With these processes underway, Kelsey and Ashley begin interviewing the female students one by one. Ashley asks to speak with Billy, perhaps because he’s the one who wrote the SPA with Tyler and who first called in the incident to the branch. Kelsey phones a superior.
I tell Ashley that I think the Melissa-Tyler incident was a misunderstanding. Tyler did not intend to look at Melissa when she was undressing. (I highlight Tyler’s lack of intent because in the past NOLS has trained instructors to instill in students a default assumption of positive intent when facing conflict.) Ashley responds that impact matters, regardless of intent.
When I offer Ashley my investigation notes and student interview statements, she says she doesn’t need them right now. Instead, I should submit them at the end of the course with the rest of my paperwork. This baffles me. NOLS prides itself on teaching responsible decision making. Why are my managers so uninterested in information the course leader has to offer that can improve their understanding of this difficult situation?
I check on the rest of the students while Ashley interviews Tyler and while Kelsey makes yet another phone call to a superior named Sadie at NOLS headquarters.
When Ashley and Tyler are finished talking, I approach Ashley. I’m hopeful she has gained empathy for Tyler’s position and has rethought any false assumptions she may have made about his conduct. Before I can find out, Kelsey tells us both: “I just got off the phone with Sadie, and she says this is a clear case of sexual misconduct. Tyler is going home.”
My mouth falls open. I don’t believe it.
…And…I couldn’t help but notice Kelsey’s demeanor when she delivered the verdict. She wasn’t somber. She was smiling, self-satisfied, and cheery. That got to me.
14.
I start to protest. Again I offer the notes from my investigation three days prior, along with my arguments supporting Tyler’s innocence. Kelsey responds that Tyler’s impact on the girls has been too great; it is irreparable.
I consider quitting right there on the spot.
Then I think of the rest of the students on the trip. I am reluctant to hand them over to finish with Ashley in charge.
I find Tyler sitting alone, waiting for news. This will be my last chance to talk with him. I don’t tell him about the decision that’s been made; I play dumb when he asks. If my superiors want to expel Tyler, I’ll leave it to them to tell him.
I explain to Tyler that regardless of what happens, NOLS is merely an institution. It’s just one way to access untamed, restorative places like the Cascade Mountains. This wilderness will remain available to him should he want to continue benefiting from it. I give him my email address and tell him that I’d be happy to meet up in the future and take him somewhere cool. I tell him that he has a long life of adventures ahead of him and not to let this situation derail his efforts to be a better person.
15.
Ashley approaches Tyler and me. She informs Tyler he is being expelled on the grounds of sexual misconduct. He should gather his things and say his goodbyes.
I can see Tyler’s disappointment, but he does not complain.
Kelsey informs us of a new problem: Melissa does not feel safe riding back to the branch in the same van as Tyler. I shake my head and shrug my shoulders as if to say, “You created this. You deal with it.”
Melissa and Jackie gather their belongings and say their goodbyes too. (Jackie has decided to go home as well.)
Melissa begins to address the group as a whole, saying “I just want to say something…” Kelsey cuts her off and says they need to get going.
Having somehow convinced Melissa that the van will be a safe space, Kelsey departs with Melissa, Jackie, and Tyler. This leaves the other seven students plus Billy and me to finish the remaining three weeks of the trip.
Ashley tells Billy and me that she is not here to take over our leadership roles. For three days she’ll observe and take notes on our group culture, and facilitate the group healing process. I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
16.
After breakfast the next morning, Ashley addresses the remaining students. They have been kept in the dark up to this point regarding the official reason for yesterday’s departure of their peers. Here is what Ashley tells the students:
Yesterday we expelled Tyler on the grounds of sexual misconduct. He made a stupid mistake when he approached a female student who was topless, and he continued to stare at her when asked for some privacy. The female student’s sense of emotional safety was compromised to the point that she was unable to continue and felt her only option was to leave.
I am stunned by Ashley’s embellishments and dishonesty.
Ending
Ashley now takes the opportunity to introduce herself to the group. She explains that she identifies as nonbinary and that her pronouns are they/them/their. Ashley tells the students that today they will hike in affinity groups based on gender. Ashley will lead the female group, and Billy and I will lead the male group.
A male student, Ron, says that he identifies as nonbinary, at which point Ashley assigns Ron to the female group. Ron says, “No, I’m still a guy. If it’s okay I’d rather hike in the guys group”. Ashley apologizes and grants the request.
What I experience of Ashley over the next three days reveals no shortage of misandry and abuse of power. It will all eventually be excused by both Ashley and our superiors under the concept of ‘subjective lived experiences’.
It becomes plainly obvious that in order to keep my job with NOLS I must now do it from my knees. Instead, I vow to die on my feet. I will continue advocating for Tyler to NOLS leadership and – if needed – to the Board of Trustees. His family deserves a refund of the $4,000+ they paid for the course. Crucially, Tyler also deserves an apology from those who wrongfully expelled him.
I still have three weeks in the North Cascades ahead of me. I am determined that the remaining students and I will make the most of it. This is the last NOLS course I will ever teach.
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Jeff Huntington is a former NOLS backpacking and mountaineering instructor with 80+ weeks of logged field experience. He lives in the San Juan Islands. Jeff volunteers as a leader for the Foundation Against Intolerance and Racism (FAIR).
POSTSCRIPT FROM JEFF:
There are of course many details I left out of this piece. However, it is an accurate presentation of the injustice done to Tyler and the gender bias that motivated NOLS administrators. My follow-up experiences since June 2021, when this incident occurred, have given me every reason to believe male students on NOLS courses remain vulnerable to anti-male prejudice. Influential leaders within NOLS have successfully instilled misandry as an accepted element of the nonprofit organization’s culture.
To date, Tyler has received neither a refund nor an apology from NOLS.
Update 6/30/22 – Tyler informed me NOLS finally gave him a refund.